| Log on | Make the fire hotter |
| Log off | Don't add any more wood |
| Monitor | Keep an eye on that fire |
| Download | Getting the firewood off the bakkie |
| Floppy disk | What you get from trying to carry too much firewood |
| Ram | The thing that splits the firewood |
| Hard Drive | Getting home in a heavy rain storm |
| Prompt | What the postal service used to be |
| Window | What to shut when it's cold outside |
| Screen | What to shut in mosquito season |
| Byte | What the mosquitoes do |
| Bit | What the mosquitoes did |
| Mega Byte | What the Mocambiquean mosquitoes do |
| Chip | Of the "Slap" variety at old "T" Rooms |
| Micro Chip | What's left in the bag after you eat the crisps |
| Modem | What you did to the hay fields |
| Dot matrix | Old Dan Matrix's wife |
| Laptop | Where the kitty sleeps |
| Software | The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at the Wimpy |
| Hardware | The real stainless steel cutlery |
| Mouse | What eats the grain in the shed |
| Mainframe | What holds the shed up |
| Enter | City talk for - "come on in, eh" |
| Web | What a spider makes |
| Web site | The shed or the attic |
| Cursor | Someone who swears |
| Search Engine | What you do when the car dies |
| Screen Saver | A repair kit for the torn window screen |
| Home Page | A map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost in the field |
| Upgrade | Steep hill |
| Server | The person at the Wimpy that brings the food |
| Mail Server | The guy at the Wimpy that brings the food |
| MSDOS | Some new disease they discovered |
| Sound Card | One them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it . |
| User | The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff |
| Browser | What they call you when your eye brows grow together |
| Network | When you have to repair your fishing net |
| Internet | Complicated fish net repair method |
| Netscape | When a fish manoeuvres out of reach |
| Online | When you get the laundry hung out on the washline |
| Off line | When the clothes pegs let go and the laundry falls on the ground |